So many things have changed over the last couple of months. I am almost upset with myself for not posting here in so long. But on the bright side, I have so much to write about, and god knows I love to yap yap yap…

(cue another month long break in between starting this post and typing the rest of it)

My life has been so ridiculously different these last few months, it’s almost like everything flipped upside down. Suddenly, I’m not depressed, rarely anxious, and I am genuinely happy and excited to be alive? Even with things that I feel that I should be worried about, I find it extremely difficult to be. On top of all of this, the things that used to terrify me about the future (my job, etc.) are starting to make me extremely excited!

I mean seriously, I’m off BOTH of my antidepressants, which hasn’t been the case for almost 2 years. What the fuck is going on, right?

Could this really all be because of diet and probiotics? Maybe. I started taking my gut health really seriously, and the fog really did seem to lift. Taking daily fibers as well as S. boulardii immediately cut through a ton of my brain fog, and surprisingly enough, my depression. It even feels like my body is healthier, and it’s easier to put on muscle/not lose muscle when I am not exercising, which is absolutely wild!

I’ve also had to cut out a lot of other things in my life, including some people, which has bummed me out a bit. I care about them still, all of them, but in many ways, I was being dragged down, and I was holding them back as well. I want to apologize in many of these cases, while still holding firm boundaries, but I’m not sure how. I know I’ll probably just end up never seeing the majority of these people again, which is a bit bittersweet in its own right.

Regardless, life is good. I wanted to post an update, so I think I’m going to publish this. Will probably come back and make edits later or maybe start a whole new post soon. But overall, life is good, and I am finally happy for the first time in as long as I can remember!